More Random Letters

[Yorinaga Kurita]

Dearest Jesara,

Well no sooner than I had finished putting the pink canopy on Andy's new bed and went down to the bar to get a glass of apple cider than I heard some loud clomps upstairs. Drinking my drink quickly, I went back up to Andy's room. There, amidst the delicate pink rose petals you had strewn about the room, the frilly pink and white curtains, the pink, sheer veil of the bed canopy, was Loth.

The rose scent was not able to hide the smell of manure he had on him, nor did the pink woman things you had placed in Andy's dresser improve his looks. The silk sheets are a mess and stink, the clothing is streched beyond recognition. I don't know if our surprise will be ready for Andy's return as I have to clean up Loth's mess.

I don't know if he wants to be Andy or Leod, but clearly he fails at both of them. I threw him down the stairs, and I can hear Amideh hitting him with her spatula even now.

Yours forever,
Yori

[Jesara]

A hastily scribed note, stuck to a door in the Temple of Marr, Freeport

My dearest Yorinaga,
As I write this my entire sisterhood is en route to the Dagger where they will use all their love-ly skills to remake the disaster that is Lothared. I now realize it is he whom I have seen in this temple's pools so often. No true woman would really be wearing a pink thong bikini with bright orange spiked heels and a little red cap.
Fear not, for by the time you see this note we will have remade Andy's room to be the true PINK PARADISE she secretly craves.

Love,
Jes

[Amideh]

Dear Master Lothared,

I am sorry about the incident this morning in the tavern. Frankly, when you came flying down the stairs, a veritable whirl of pink and red, well...

Well, um, I thought you were on fire. I am sorry that my efforts to put you out with my spatula caused such bruises, but it was your exposed ruddy thighs that seemed to require the most immediate attention. And I know it must have hurt badly, but please do not jump into the tavern well again, even to cool a sting like that. As it is, I will be lugging water up the hill from the marketplace for the foreseeable future.

Humbly yours,
Amideh

[Blodie]

Dear Jesara...

How good it is to hear from you! I only wish I could leave Kaladim at this moment to assist in 'decorating' Mistress Andy's room, but alas I am unable to leave my studies.

I am sending you a batch of my famous muffins though, the honey-peach ones that Andy likes so much. Also some fine Faydwer candles scented with lilac...a personal favorite scent of Andy's!

Let me know how she enjoys her surprise!

*hugs* Blodie

[Jesara]

Dear Blodie,

Well the surpise is finished. The muffins were left in a basket wrapped in linens (pink of course). The candles looked perfect too! Such a nice touch. I-hmm there seems to be some commotion coming from the merchanting district. I had best close this and send this letter now. I'll be in touch soon.

In Love's Name,
Jes

[Androdameia]

Dear Jubal,

I am asking that you please do something about Lothared. I don't know what his problem is! It was bad enough when he was dressing like a woman, and making us call him Ardonia, but now it seems he has moved into my room.

Imagine how disgusted I was to open the door to my room and find him lounging on my bed in a pink silken nightgown (complete with ribbons and lace). But it doesn't end there. He put a pink canopy on my bed, and there were rose petals and little pillow things and other girlish nonsense strewn about the room. All my armor was painted with pink enamel. Luckily I had my prized sword with me or it would probably have roses on the hilt and the scent of flowers emanating from it.

After I beat him senseless (not that THAT took long), I told him he could have the room, but I will be in need of another, preferrably with better security.

Androdameia

P.S. I am concerned about Blodeuwedd, he was eating some muffins and I am sure they were made by her. I am afraid he might have eaten her, too. He smelled awful and his hair was in braids. Maybe he is trying to be her.

P.S.S. The room was so pink, I can only think Jesara must have had a hand in helping him decorate. You may want to talk to her about encouraging him like that. You may want to do it soon before I get my hands on her.

[Jubal]

Dearest Androdameia,

I totally agree with you about Lothared's crossdressing antics getting out of hand. I thought that him dressing up around the guildhall would be harmless, and didn't expect much more to come of it. Imagine my surprise when I received the swimsuit issue of my favorite magazine. This is getting ridiculous, something must be done. I have enclosed said magazine so you can see what I am referring to.

Jubal

[Jesara]

Deep within a dark forest, a note of pink parchment is held in two tiny and yet very cute hands.

Dear Pixalixa,

I think our little plot is moving along nicely. Lothared inadvertantly has provided us plenty of cover with his...er... bewilderingly ambiguous behavior. Your dream of a Cute Norrath may finally be within reach. I can tell Andy is slowly wearing down. She will join us soon, making our CuteTriad complete.

In Love's Name,
Jesacutie

[Ammudana Raevenchylde]

Dear Meldan's Mystical Marketplace,

Enclosed you will find my most recent order, please be certain that the delivery gnoll you send is house trained this time. The previous runner soiled one of my best carpets while I was getting his tip. Also, please verify that the shrink potions are sufficiently stoppered as I had to muck around my laboratory on stilts because some had leaked into the butter last time.

1 lb. Butter
1 bottle fine brandy (if it's watered down again, heads will roll)
2 WELL STOPPERED shrink potions
2 loaves bread
20 bat wings
20 Peridots
4 crystalline vials
1 crystalline pipette
6 ft. Leather strap
1 jelly pastry
1 jar of honey
1 set of UNUSED bedclothes

P.S.-If I find that even one peridot is missing, I will send your delivery gnoll back minus one paw.

Sincerely,
Ammudana Raevenchylde

[Dodie]

Dear Amideh,

Me not care about no bet. ME QUIT!

Dodie saw things that me not ever wanna see again!

Something very wrong in the world when Dodie see a grown Barbarian dressed in girls clothes.

If Mee-duh need Dodie me be somewhere washing out me eyes til the view me saw be gone.

PS Me come across Mister Jubal's magazine Dodie gonna get some therapy too.

[Ellewyn]

Dear Master Kinseeker,

Master, this is a request to once again renovate and expand the Rusty Dagger. THIS time it is to install a massage parlor (and hire a professional masseuse) in light of recent desires requested towards me, primarily among our hard- (uhm...) -"working" barbarian males (both warrior and shamans) for back-rubs.

As much as I have tried, I fear I am not qualified by far to apply such treatment for them. Sir Stoutheart still suffers severe leg, lower back, and groin spasms. Commander Leod will be have to remain perpendicular for at least another week or two. And poor Sir Lothared's voice will not lower in pitch for quite some time I am afraid.

I would advise having a professional to tend to back-rub needs. This can also be supplemented with the proper tools. From the delicate Erudite Air-Touch to the Rivervale Foot-Pad to the Neriak Violator. I hope that this will help those of us when they feel such... ..needs.



Never fearing death like her Master,

Ellewyn Foxheart

[Lothared]

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